by: Harriet Silkwood
Another good citizen comes to the aid of the ignorant public. After years of eating Oreo's, and enjoying them tremendously, somebody put on a pound or two. Who's to blame? You know somebody is to blame. It couldn't be the fault of the user. Did she exercise? Did she walk? Did she do her housework? No, she sat in front of her T.V. and ate Oreos.
When she realized she had gotten a little pudgy around the middle, she didn't like it. She complained to a lawyer friend. The lawyer friend listened to her crying about being fat and did his best to assure her she was still beautiful. To make her feel better, he got them both glasses of milk and took a fresh bag of Oreo?s from her cabinet. Making themselves comfortable at the kitchen table, they continued to dip the cookies and argue whether she was fat or not. For hours. Finally, to shut her up, he said he would find the cause, he knew it wasn?t her fault and he told her so.
And what did he discover while reading the ingredient list on the side of the bag? It is the fault of Oreos! There is fat in the white filling! Who would?ve thunk it? I wonder which college he went to? He was amazing! Now, another American icon is about to be erased.
Dads will not be able to show their sons how to twist off the top cookie carefully, so they can lick the filling off. Little brothers will no longer be able to dip their Oreo into their big brother?s glass of milk, and enjoy a bit of brotherly camaraderie before being pushed away. What will mothers put in the lunch boxes? Will we be able to carry this one more straw of added stress in our daily lives?
In the years to come, someone will remember Oreos lovingly, and the children will say, ?What the heck is an Oreo??
Or, ?tell us about the old days, Daddy, when you use to eat Oreos.? Fathers will sigh sadly, and brush a tear away.
People are going to start hoarding them, just wait and see. The neighbor across the street just put a padlock on his freezer in his garage. I just know he has Oreos in there.
On Halloween, Oreo came out with orange filling. (I wonder if it was to get rid of the white filling that had the fat in it? Hey, it works for me.) They also have double chocolate. A cookie with chocolate filling. Oh, they probably have a lot of new ideas in their secret files. Now, what will they do if they are shut down?
People will lose their jobs. Nabisco will go bankrupt. It?s a real shame, but will the good citizen, with the over zealous lawyer, care? No. Her concern is over the rest of us getting fat. She is looking out for us that are too ignorant to know there is fat in the filling. Anyone out there who didn?t already know this? Anyone?
I like fat. It keeps my hair shiny and my skin soft. Doing without a bit of fat turns you into a dried up prune with straw for hair. I?d rather be round, myself.
Oreos are the cookies of distinction. You don't just buy chocolate cookies. You must buy Oreos. When you bring the kids in for milk and cookies, they hear ?milk and Oreos!? Can any other cookie put that ring of chocolate around a child's mouth so neatly? I don?t think so.
If this can be done to the King of cookies, what's next? Ice Cream? Reese's minis? The Golden Arches? It's time for people to revolt. Stand up for your right to eat Oreos! In the meantime, run and grab all you can before they?re gone!
Update! May 17, 2003
The suit has been dropped. Wow! People can stand up and be revolting - it works! Kids can now enjoy their Oreo's, and mom and dad will not have to freeze them or hide them from the neighbors.
I wonder what else is on the Endangered Food List?
About The Author
Harriet Silkwood is an author on http://www.Writing.Com/ which is a site for Creative Writing. Her portfolio can be found at http://www.Writing.Com/authors/storytime.
|
17 Popular Quotes about Chocolate
17 Popular Quotes about Chocolate
by: Bridget Mwape
1. "Chocolate causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect your feelings and behavior by making you happy. Therefore, it counteracts depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. Your stress-free life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically and mentally. So, eat lots of chocolate!" - Elaine Sherman, Book of Divine Indulgences
2. "Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar in four pieces with your bare hands--and then just eating one piece" - Judith Viorst
3. "Self-discipline implies some unpleasant things to me, including staying away from chocolate and keeping my hands out of women's pants." - Oleg Kiselev
4. "It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man." - Miranda Ingram
5. "Life is like a box of chocolates...You never...
17 Popular Quotes about Chocolate
Chocolate > 17 Popular Quotes about Chocolate
Chocolate And Your Dogs Health -- What You Should Know
Chocolate And Your Dogs Health -- What You Should Know
by: Carolyn Schweitzer
Chocolate -- Who can Resist it?
Your dogs health depends on it! (resisting, that is). We humans get to indulge because most of us know when to stop. But your dog won't quit after just a few. Give her a chance and she'll down the whole box of Godivas in one gulp. So on Valentine's Day, you're actually being kind to your best buddy if you eat all the chocolates yourself!Why is chocolate harmful to a dogs health?Chocolate, as you know, is made with cocoa beans. And cocoa beans contain methylxanthine alkaloids in the form of theobromine and caffeinea, which are toxic to dogs. Chocolate can also contain high amounts of fat which can put your dogs health in jeopardy as well.
How Much is Too Much?
Though it's certain that dogs and chocolate don't mix, different dogs react differently to the methylxanthines. And reactions can vary according to the age, size and...
Chocolate And Your Dogs Health -- What You Should Know
Chocolate > Chocolate And Your Dogs Health -- What You Should Know
Delicious Vintage Chocolate Recipes For All Seasons
Delicious Vintage Chocolate Recipes For All Seasons
by: Victor Carlton
Whether it?s a party, a quiet day in the house or just cruising downtown with friends, there?s always an occasion (or excuse) to gratuitously munch on chocolate.
Everyone loves chocolates, especially the types made from those secret vintage recipes. Listed below are a few of such.
CHOCOLATE JELLY WITH CRYSTALLIZED GREEN GAGES
Dissolve in a quart of water three tablespoonfuls of grated chocolate and let it come to a boil. Simmer for about ten minutes. Add a cup of sugar and a box of gelatin (that has been softened in a cup of water) and strain through a jelly bag or two thicknesses of cheese-cloth. When almost cold, add a dessertspoonful of vanilla and a tablespoonful of brandy. Then whisk well, add half a pound of crystallized green gages cut into small pieces and pour into a pretty mould. When cold serve with whipped cream.
CHOCOLATE MARBLE CAKE
Put...
Delicious Vintage Chocolate Recipes For All Seasons
Chocolate > Delicious Vintage Chocolate Recipes For All Seasons
Qualifying vs. Closing the Sale
Qualifying vs. Closing the Sale
by: Teri Samuels
The Art of effective question asking (qualifying) determines the effectiveness and the success of the "close".
EXAMPLE: Let's assume you're a candy sales rep. You sell both chocolate and non-chocolate candy. I'm your potential customer. You know nothing about me but you're trying to sell me chocolate candy. You proceed to tell me how great the candy tastes, how exquisite the texture is, how incredible the quality of the chocolate is, and, by the way, how affordable this candy is because your company is doing a promotion on this outstanding chocolate candy. However, you don't sell me a single piece of chocolate candy.
WHY?
You assumed I liked chocolate candy and I would buy it based on the information you provided. But the most important thing you forgot to identify or ask me is "do you like chocolate candy?".
The answser is "no, I hate chocolate candy?". But since you never...
Qualifying vs. Closing the Sale
Chocolate > Qualifying vs. Closing the Sale